ছোটBela👶👶 VS বড়োBela👨‍🦰👨‍🦰

😂বগলের নিচের চুল

আর পরীক্ষার খাতায় ভুল

দুটোই বড়ো হলে বারে😂

(I know it was very dirty 😝😝)

*My readers be like*

With this irrelevant start we move on to find what changes between childhood and teenagehood.🤔🤔🤔

Continue reading “ছোটBela👶👶 VS বড়োBela👨‍🦰👨‍🦰”

The Menace called TUITIONS📚📚🎒🎒 Part 1: 👩‍🏫TEACHERS👨🏽‍🏫

PUBG খেলে সময় নষ্ট করা আর school এ পড়া না বুঝে tuition করা অনেকটা এক কারণ দুটোই মানুষ ইচ্ছে কোরে করে..😉😉😉

So, today we are gonna talk about TUITIONS and TEACHERS!!

Continue reading “The Menace called TUITIONS📚📚🎒🎒 Part 1: 👩‍🏫TEACHERS👨🏽‍🏫”

School Life Part 13: Results and Parents😰😰😰😰……..

Hullo friends, we are a bit late with the School Life series🙄🙄🙄, so Apologies🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️ first for that.

Today we are gonna talk about two different things with a striking similarity😧😧 which is:

দুটোই তোমার সুন্দর জীবনের পেছনে বারি মারার জন্যে যথেষ্ট 😅😅😅

Yes, we are taking about Results and Parents.✔✔✔✔😧😧😧

Continue reading “School Life Part 13: Results and Parents😰😰😰😰……..”

Types Of People in Puja Crowd🤔👨‍👩‍👧‍👧👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👦‍👦🤔

Crowd-free Pandal is slowly becoming an oxymoron.

Either you go for a crowd-free place or you go for a Pandal.

Electron brings you the Type of People you push through in a pandal crowd…..

Continue reading “Types Of People in Puja Crowd🤔👨‍👩‍👧‍👧👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👦‍👦🤔”

What happens when ALL ARE OUT but YOU ARE IN…..😑😑

If you have extremely cooperative, friendly and frank parents 🤣🤣 who prefer not leaving you for Pandal hopping with your friends, then read on….

Continue reading “What happens when ALL ARE OUT but YOU ARE IN…..😑😑”

If Chemistry and Maths Quarrelled….😅

Disclaimer: The entire conversation is fictional and solely for entertainment.

Maths and Chemistry meet on a hot summer day at a roadside.

Maths: Hii Chemi, how’s the day??

Chemistry(sweating): EXOTHERMIC!!!

Continue reading “If Chemistry and Maths Quarrelled….😅”

Why Modi has Pakistan to thank for his Election victory.

After the entire country witnessed a Modi Wave sweep over it on results day of Elections 2019, Pakistan PM Imran Khan has expressed gladness and congratulated Modi on his humongous success.

Continue reading “Why Modi has Pakistan to thank for his Election victory.”

#AbSabChowkidar !!!

Remember March 16, 2019 ?

Most probably, NOT!!

Yes, it’s National Vaccination Day in India, of course but who knows about that….

On this day, our honourable Prime Minister Narendra Modi unleashed “Main Bhi Chowkidar” to counter the opposition’s “Chowkidar Chor hai”. And Twitter saw thousands becoming Chowkidars overnight.

Continue reading “#AbSabChowkidar !!!”

|•|A Conversation with the Prime Minister |•|

After Electron heard PM Narendra Modi saying,

…..I used digital camera in 1987 or 1988… then a handful of people had email. At one of the public meetings of (LK) Advani ji in Gujarat’s Viramgam, I had a digital camera. I took a photo of Advani Ji and transmitted it to Delhi….

AND

I had suggested that clouds and rain could prevent Pakistani radars from detecting Indian fighter jets during the Balakot air strike”.

he decided to have a quick talk with this “ahead of his time man” about the credibility of his statement. Let’s see what he finds.

Continue reading “|•|A Conversation with the Prime Minister |•|”

School Life Part 12: 5 Thoughts Which You Have Before A New Session 💭💭

Hollo guys, the last School Life came out in December, 2018 and owing to too much content (sarcasm…. sarcasm) I dumped it down for 3 months.

But FINALLY, we are back with the 12th part of School Life!!

Here we look at the ultra awesome moments of our lives in the home called school.

Today, we will talk about exactly what is there in the headline 👆👆.

So, let’s begin…..

Continue reading “School Life Part 12: 5 Thoughts Which You Have Before A New Session 💭💭”

IS ‘PUBG-mukt-Bharat’ heading towards dictatorship ??

18th March, 2019: Three more arrested in Gujarat for playing PUBG.

14th March, 2019: 19 arrested in Rajkot for playing banned game PUBG.

13th March, 2019: 10 arrested in Gujarat for playing PUBG.

6th March, 2019: Rajkot bans online mobile game PUBG, blames it for violence.

Is ‘PUBG-mukt-Bharat’ heading towards Dictatorship???

Continue reading “IS ‘PUBG-mukt-Bharat’ heading towards dictatorship ??”

Mystery Behind the Missing Bottle Cap

Hullo readers, in my last article we had talked about an incident that occurred in Maithon.( Here’s the link if you haven’t read https://myelectron1.wordpress.com/2019/03/02/how-to-make-gods-happy/ )

Today we are going to talk about the Mystery Behind the Missing Bottle Cap

So, let’s see the bottle first…

Continue reading “Mystery Behind the Missing Bottle Cap”

How to Make Gods Happy??

Hallo, it’s quite been a long time since I have been talkative on my blog.

Today we are going to talk about an issue with God.

So, let’s begin…

Very recently I had been to this place called Maithon, a town in the Dhanbad district of Jharkhand.

From there, on the second day of our stay, we visited the Kalyaneshwari Temple, going by Mom’s rule that you must visit God’s abode to get real peace.

After buying dalas and taking off our shoes, we got inside the temple premises.

After a cautious walk on slippery floors, we ended up in a narrow aisle which ended in a chaotic place. There a large flat stone was decorated with saree and ornaments, a personification of Kalyaneshwari Devi.

While we were waiting for our turn, I saw a man giving a twenty rupee note as dakshina. The pandit who was in charge of receiving the amount immediately said,” মা কে বিশ দিচ্ছেন!!” Now, you all must have understood what he meant and what he actually intended.

A little later, just before our turn was about to come, I noticed that pandit stealthy slipping in money into his dhoti from the dakshina plate.

When our turn came and we sat on our knees to offer our puja, the pandit who was offering the pujas quickly took the money and dala from my hand, murmured some mantras, the least of which I understood, and returned us only the flowers.

Contrary to my expectations, they did not give us any prasadam. Instead they took the sweets we gave in the dalas and kept them aside. My dad says that they sell those to the sweet shops again. Very disgusting if it’s TRUE.😝😝(And I don’t even think they keep them aside in a hygienic place)

Next when we went inside the adjoining Shiva temple , the pandit there said to my mother that since I have come on an “auspicious” day I would be blessed with “good fortune” if I gave 100 more rupees as dakshina. And, with no surprise, it turned out to be a futile attempt. I left only 11 rupees on the dakshina plate.

These are only a few instances when bhakti and superstitions are used as a tool for business.

And in India, where people keep their religion and Gods above everything, it becomes even easier to mislead people.

Electron Suggests:

God never actually told you to give them money or something in return for the blessings. It’s your desire that you put some money as a funding for the temple welfare.

Now if some “Messenger Of God” tells you that MORE money brings MORE fortune, blessings, and you end up paying them, then you become no one but one of those thousand fools who are being fooled daily.

So,here’s the end.

I don’t know when the next article’s gonna come up. It all goes down to my mood. So, until I consult my mood,you comment and tell me if you liked and share it 😉😉😉.

Be there on Facebook and Instagram and follow me,
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Saraswati Vibes 😄😄🙏🙏

Just the perfect hour to make this post.

Generally, I don’t write anything during my exams but to supply the ripe wants of my readers, I WILL BREAK A RULE.

So, let’s get directly to work….

1. The Kul craving

If you love this fruit then mark my words:

You will never be happy in a relationship because on Bengali’s Valentines Day, you will be busier with it than with her.😆😆

Often my mom says, ” খাস না বেশি, পেট ব্যাথা করবে!!”

কিন্তু কে কার শোনে!!

2. The Shower Struggle

This is among you and me and us.

Here’s a small Electron tip:

After bathing, quickly drape yourself with the towel to minimize air contact with your skin.

3. Book Deposition

This is another exciting part.

You are getting an off day from your studies on the day when you are actually worshipping knowledge.

But often my mom forces………….

So, guys that’s all for today.

Hope you liked the article. Don’t forget to comment and share.

And here’s a sneak into Electron’s house…….

When you just hear….Part 3

🎉🎉ELECTRON is BACK🎊🎊 with the third part of the article which brings out the the flaw in your ear to brain coordination.

So, let’s see today’s un-understood songs……

1. Murshida

This song from Begum Jaan was probably one of the strongest songs ever made.

But Murshida……???

Murshid means a teacher, spiritual leader, or a religious leader, someone who is expected to show you the right path in life, a guide in that way.

Murshida is nothing but the same word, used for a woman instead of a man.

http://www.bollymeaning.com

2. Yeh Fitoor Mera

This Amit- Arijit number is a perfect one for any Valentine’s Day Dance.

Although the word fitoor has been used in many Bollywood songs, yet it’s meaning remains unknown to most.

So, Fitoor actually means obsession.

Now, you can relate to the song better.

3. Bom Diggy Diggy

….I wanna see you walk like Rihana….Get all the pounder….Bom Diggy Diggy Bom Bom….

But, I wanna see you think like a kid …get the meaning of…..Bom Diggy Bom Bom…

So, Bom Diggy here actually refers to the term BOMB DIGGY which is an English slang for sex, amazing, impressive.

4. Prem Ratan Dhan Payo

This title track from the Salman starrer Prem Ratan Dhan Payo is loved by all.

Though it seems very simple at a glance yet many will fumble to tell what it exactly means.

The title is inspired by Meerabai’s popular bhajan, Raam Ratan Dhan Paayo, which means ‘I have got the wealth of the gem that my Lord’s name is.’

Here in the title, Raam is replaced by Prem, and hence it means ‘I have got the wealth of the gem of Love.’

http://www.bollymeaning.com

So, guys it’s all for today.

I am constantly trying to deliver you articles as consistently as possible but I don’t know how long I would be able to do so.

খুব কাছে exam exam গন্ধ

তাই article লেখা TEMPORARILY বন্ধ.

কিন্তু ঠিক আসবো ফিরে, কথা দিলাম কারণ

মা বলেছে exam এর পর ছাড়া phone এ হাত দেওয়া বারন😰😰😰

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The Matrimony Mall Part 1

Here’s something very unique and different which I never tried before, or I guess any blogger ever did.

Today we are going to talk about how weird can people be when it comes to BRIDE AND GROOM SHOPPING.

Now you might be abusing me for objectifying and all, but by the time you reach the end of the article, I guess you will be changed.

So, let’s have a look at some of today’s shopper’s demands….

Bring all those who posted on Instagram stuffs like “All Women Don’t Love Money”. I mean, there are women who truly love someone and not by his money, but WHAT IS THIS!!

It’s like saying:

The order I will purchase must not be worth less than 15 lakhs (and that also per annum!!)

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

My product should be REALLY HANDSOME and preferably should be a Delhi resident .

And till today I didn’t understand why people specify profession while choosing the groom.

বর Doctor হলে যেন কোনোদিন fever হবে না আর police হলে যেন কোনোদিন case খাবে না!! শুধু দেখতে হবে যেন ভালো মানুষ না হয়ে because ওটা হলেই কোনো লাভ নেই.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Here’s a PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SELF BOASTING.

But in some ways it is good. সত্যিটা জানার আগে at least কিছুক্ষণ তো ভাববে যে আমার বৌ “good looking fair“.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

My only question after seeing this was:

Who gives his/her blood group while finding their love😕?😕?😕?

These breed of people don’t judge people on their looks or money. They love only one thing and that’s their BLOOD( they might be vampires, I fear 😱😱😱).

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Here’s one perfect example of modernization!!

We have come so long a way to today’s modern world, yet people are stuck with rashi and horoscope and all.

I still never understood this funda of Manglik. They say that whoever is governed by Mars (Mangal) is inaspicious when it comes to marriage.

Did you ever stop to think how would Mars feel when he would come to know about it?

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

So, guys it’s all for today.

I guess again, sadly, I need to take a break from this because my exams are in the way.

But, you never know ( I, myself, don’t know) when ELECTRON turns up with an article.

So, after reading this one, go to the box below and write down your thoughts on it.

And share it and share it and keep sharing it.

Be there on Facebook and Instagram and follow me,
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Clean Talks and TRAPPED!!

Helloo everyone, Electron has brought a topic today which has been a top talk since the last couple of days.

Today we are going to talk about how two emerging, young cricketers got carried away and landed in a controversy cage when they went to a senseless talk show named Koffee with Karan( even the show’s tagline says “Makes No Sense”).

Hardik Pandya and KL Rahul were invited to this talk show which was aired on January 6 where they made controversial comments(particularly Hardik) which the audience couldn’t digest and suddenly they were amidst tags like sexist, misogynistic and racist.

Here’s what they said:

KJ: Why don’t you ask women for their names in nightclubs??

HP: I like to watch and observe how they move. I’m little from the black side so I need to see how they move.

Now, before blaming Pandya, look once at the question.

এটা কে জিজ্ঞেস করে, ভাই???

It’s like asking: Why don’t you clean your butt with right hand??

And someone please give that man an award for the answer.👏👏👏

************

KJ: Who’s the better batsman- Virat or Sachin?

HP: Virat.

Now, this thing is very normal to me.

But most people, with cheap data and little knowledge of Instagram and Facebook, went on to smash Pandya for, to them, he insulted the legend.

Trust me, had he said Sachin, things would have been the same except that Virat’s fans would have outraged on him.

************

KJ: If you all hit on the same women, then how do you decide?

KLR: Up to the woman.

HP: Nahi nahi aisa kuch nahi hai, talent pe hota hai. Jisko mila woh leke jao.

KL Rahul played safely on this question.

But Hardik!!! এঁচোরে পাকামি না করলে সকালে হাগা হয়না!! Hearing this even a kid can say :

***********

And this wasn’t the end….

HP: When I lost my virginity, I came home and said, Main karke aaya hai aaj (I did it today).

😦😦😦😦

Someone remind this guy that he’s in India.

Here people deny having anything with sex inspite of having three, four kids.

***********

And here’s another that oiled the fire 🔥 …

HP: At a party my parents asked me acha tera wala kaun sa hai? I said yeh, yeh, yeh (pointing out women) and they were like waah proud of you beta.

This man isn’t a from this world.

Here’s the truth:

So, guys if you liked the article, then please tell me in the comments below and start following ELECTRON today.

And my intention was just to entertain you guys and not insult anybody. SO DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!

Be there on Facebook and Instagram and follow me,
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Today’s Generation LOVES Egg🐣🍳. Here’s Why.

Hello everyone, this article will be quick and short so that you can think and laugh (or at least wonder) after reading it.

Today as I opened the morning newspaper and turned to the Trends section, my eyes caught this:

And here’s a pic of the STAR🌟🌟:

Simple. Shiny. Bold. Sexy.

Or is it??

This picture by some unknown genius (someone who would post the pic of an egg on Insta is truly a genius) beat Kylie Jenner’s birth announcement post’s 18.3M likes with it’s 35M likes 😱 and counting.

If the number of people who liked this egg formed a city, it’s population would have surpassed the combined population of Australia and Russia.

Like seriously??

There are people trying their best to get the perfect selfie.

There are photographers staying up all day to get the best shot.

There are celebrities who can’t wait to show their baby bump 😂.

And here is this cruel world liking something(and that also 30M) which was crushed last day by my mother and then thrown into the dustbin.

So, What’s the Secret To Likes on Insta?? ELECTRON TELLS YOU:

ডিম, আলু, কলা, খুন্তি, হাগু, পেন্সিল, রবার্ট এসবের সাথে photo তুলে দিয়ে দাও. DONE!!

কতো Million চাই??

তোমার আলু, কলা নিয়ে এসে দেবে.

So, guys if you liked the article then don’t forget to comment below and share it with your friends so that they too can meet the STAR 🌟🌟 of the CENTURY.

School Life Part 11: Our Democratic School /Part 1

Hello everyone, here’s the 11th of School Life, a series where we talk about the vibes and swag of our SCHOOLs.

Today, we are going to talk about how our schools, following examples of India, USA, Italy, etc., have constructed a democratic government within themselves👏👏…..

So, let’s start..

I don’t know much about other schools but at least in our school, there’s this thing called the Local Self Government. They rope in all the assh*le students…..I mean all the confident students who are gonna be the Leaders of Tommorow.
Then, they are given badges with Executive engraved on it, which you can also get at the local fair @Rs15( and maybe they take Rs 5 more to engrave).

Then they are given their postings: Beside the toilet; Below the stairs; In the corridor.

And everyday in the morning, they catch you: for not wearing ID, for folding sleeves, for narrow pants, for stylish shoes, for tight underwear( and what not!!)

Then every year, there’s an election where you elect the President and Vice- President and Governor.

And election campaigns in our school are quite different:

When you are trying hard to focus on the teacher in front, some fool will enter the class and start telling all these :

Hello everyone, I am Bhadwa Das and if you think I am eligible to be the captain, then please vote for me. I assure that I will be with you whenever you need me. My code is 6. PLEASE VOTE FOR ME!!!

………………Yes, yes, this person will be there with you whenever you need him. পাতলা পায়খানা হচ্ছে, consult him, চাকরি পাচ্ছেন না?? Consult him!!

And how boys and girls choose their representatives is also unique.

The criteria to be a suitable School Captain is:

  • You need to look good.
  • You must be popular among girls(especially if you are a boy).
  • You must not be too studious.
  • You must be cool.
  • You must have a good sense of humor.

Based on these, your odds of winning depends.

And things like: Leadership skills, blah blah blah blah blah are simply 👎👎👎👎👎👎.

So, guys it’s time to bid a bye again.

From the title, you must have understood that the PART 2 of it is coming soon where we will talk about how far this LSG has been a success.

If you liked this part, then don’t forget to comment on it and share.

Be there on Facebook and Instagram and follow me,
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Here’s something more for you all!! Electron has started his Meme page on Facebook where you get the Best Memes on Planet daily. So, go and like the page.

When you just hear …. Part 2

If you have remembered or not, the first part of this series came out on 1st October, 2018.

In this series, When you just hear…., we talk about such songs which you listen passionately without even knowing what it means.

So, let’s start…..

1. Jaan’ Nisaar

This melodious song by Arijit Singh struck a chord in your heart, but not in your brains.

What does Jaan’ Nisaar mean??

It means “I am ready to give my life”.

2. Husn Parcham

It’s not a surprise that most people never tried to find the song’s meaning.

In a song where the hottest lady of Bollywood sizzles your mind, there isn’t anymore room to think.

Husn Parcham actually means The flag of lustful youth.

Now, go back and enjoy the song.

3. Zaalima

This 2017 hit from Raees is still the Top of the Charts for any Valentine’s Day Dance.

And lovers don’t usually care what they say to their partner (Just Kidding!!)

Zaalima is an Urdu word that means “Cruel” or “Tyrant”, and is the feminine version of “Zaalim”.

So, guys it’s all for today.

If you liked the article, then please share it with everyone.

And if you knew the meaning of any of the listed songs, then do let me know that in the comments.

Be there on Facebook and Instagram and follow me,
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Here’s something more for you all!! Electron has started his Meme page on Facebook where you get the Best Memes on Planet daily. So, go and like the page.

When Modi met Iron Man(of India)

A Brief Intro:

SARDAR VALLABHBHAI PATEL IS KNOWN AS THE IRON MAN OF INDIA.

His 597 feet tall statue, making it the tallest statue in the world, has been very recently unveiled at Gujarat in India and has been named as Statue of Unity.

Controversies arose regrading the expenditure of 2525 crores on the building the statue. Politicians and public didn’t leave a chance to criticize BJP and Modi, India’s PM who too is from BJP, blaming them for India’s joblessness and poverty.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Continue reading “When Modi met Iron Man(of India)”

WHY I HATE WINTERS!!

I know that my articles have become quite infrequent nowadays, and there are reasons behind it too.

So, until I list down the business of my life, keep reading this article!!

😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

The title clearly mentions that I HATE WINTERS ‼‼‼

But whyyyyyyy……

1. I LOVE💛MY BED

WINTER is the best time for lyadhkhor people who live alone and can sleep upto 12 noon.

But with a MOM who starts shouting at you to get out of bed even before it’s 7, it’s a battle between YOU and YOUR BED which your MOM always wins and you end up walking on a cold floor.

I would be willing to give AWAY all my trump cards to get an hour more of warmth under the blanket but unfortunately…..

2. Laziness

I am NOT lyadhkhor but I am lazy.😎😎

I don’t know why but I always feel sleepy and lazy and it becomes a huge struggle to locomote from one place to another.

3. Too Much to Wear

This is one of the biggest struggle in winter.

Underwear

Vest

T-shirt

Shirt

Sweater

Jacket

Muffler

Woollen Caps

Monkey Caps

Whenever you feel a sudden potty pressure, you have to go through all the layers of clothes and sometimes it becomes a fight controlling….

So, guys it’s all for today.

If you too feel lazy during WINTERS, then don’t forget to comment on the article and share it with all the winter lovers.

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Indians Before an ELECTION 😃😎

If you are an Indian and reading this you may think that I have written this article because the next General Elections in India are in 2019!!

Yes, you are on the right!!

In a country like ours, where every big move is backed upon a political agenda, Elections are like a festival where we laugh, cry, shout, predict, brag…..

So, in this article, we are going to talk about Types of People we meet before an Election.

So, let’s begin…..

1. The ASTROLOGER

These are the most common types who, out of nothing, will start predicting, and that also with “claimed accuracy”, the results of the election😂😂.

These people, who never even correctly predicted the outcome of a toss, go about spreading that “I told you” stuff and that also about what❓❓ About a thing which has the highest uncertainty rate in the world.

2. The POLITICIAN

These are one sided people who support a particular political party and, no matter what, they will keep supporting it till the end of the day.

These are the same people who go about spreading nuisance about other parties in the name of commitment.

3. The STATS GURU

These are Neutral guys, whom I consider to be the best.

Whenever you meet them, you will come across the results of the last five elections, and the growth in GDP under the last five governments, the development under the last few governments, the probability of BJP winning again……

4. The LEAST BOTHERED

These are the ones who don’t even properly know the Chief Minister of their State.

These are the ones who give NOTAs.

These are the ones who remain unaware of all the political chaos around and remain lost in their own world.

So, guys it’s all for today.

Comment below your favorite type and tell me if you liked it or not.

Share it with your friend to remind them that Elections are at the door….

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School Life Part 10: Toilet के तरिके

In this article, we are going to pay homage to the most visited place in school.

Nothing to guess. Everyone knows it and by the way, it’s very clear from the title.

So , let’s start….

Boys VS Girls

Boys…..

Toilet for them is a place where they can do everything, except their business.

Laugh, jump, scream, beat, be beaten, stand on the bucket to see your friend doing…..

And when the adventures finally end, you realize that you didn’t actually do that for what toilet is meant.

Girl’s …..

Being a boy, I don’t know and even I don’t want what they do inside. But, believe me, whenever I pass by the Girl’s Toilet, I just hear gossips and giggles.

Maybe they too, like the boys, don’t actually do their businesses.

But, till today, I didn’t understand why they always go to the toilet in groups??

And they keep giggling all the way.

Lord of the Toilet

There’s always one guy who is always at the toilet whenever you pay a visit there. And then there are his crime partners or wingmen also.

For every “black business” that goes on at school, they are the ones to talk to.

Toilet Art

This art has been prevalent in schools since centuries.

This art involves drawing on the toilet wall with chalk, crayons to express the artist in you, to express your love for the girl next bench, to express the gangster in you by writing slangs.

So, guys it’s all for today.

You may not get any article till Tuesday. So, read this and comment on it and tell me your favorite Toilet Memories from school.

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Introducing Bangali’s Ronaldo…..

Before starting anything on the topic I would tell you the reason why I am so late. Yeah, it’s nearly been a month!!

My second terminal exams were going on, and so whatever free time I managed was spent sleeping. Though my exams are still going, yet I started missing those views and comments and all. And that’s why, here’s another treat for you ….

This article is not about Ronaldo, neither it’s about football, but today we are going to talk about the upcoming Ronaldo of Bengali football!!

Today we are going to talk about Joyeeee!! (you didn’t expect this, did you?)

👆👆👆👆

So, let’s start…

If you have ever watched this serial, the odds that you have watched any football match to some spicy, hot sansar(sarcasm… sarcasm..) is a 1:10.

Even though, this serial is about a girl’s journey to become an international football, since the last one year, she has just played ten minutes of football…..yes…. just 10 minutes of football.

This player, I mean, Joyee has some special football powers which no other player has.

DefenseDur superpower

If you have ever ever watched her playing and carefully enough, you will see that whenever she approaches the goal, the defenders move away from her, yessss, THEY MOVE AWAY FROM HER!!

We call this superpower DefenseDur power and the only way to get this power is through cooking, and arguing with family all day. And not to miss you must know Naekamo.

And this isn’t the end, she can play in a saree….YES IN A SAREE.

Believe me, I haven’t yet seen her training anytime. Yet, whenever she steps on the field, it’s like….. like…. anything…..

It’s not the end yet.

In any match she has played ( only 1 till now), the goalkeeper is
always a ***** who will never dive in the proper direction, no matter how slowly the ball’s coming.

So, we hope that Joyee continues to give us doses of sansarik football daily at 6:30pm and once in a while, may touch the ball, curve it at an impossible angle and score the most stunning goal.

So, guys it’s all for today.

My exams are ending on 27th, so you can expect a flood of articles after that.

But, until then comment on and share this article with everyone for the sake of our very own Joyee.

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School Life Part 9: Class Vibes||When YOU forget😨😨…

This is gonna be a very relatable one, if you are or were a student and ever forgot to bring any book or anything else which your teacher, once upon a century had told you to bring.

So, just like the last time, let’s start…..

Electron forgets to bring a book and decides to keep quiet about it. The teacher notices him, as usual, and begins:

Teacher: Stand up. Where’s your book??

Electron: Mam..mam…actually…

Teacher: Forgot?? Have you forgotten to bring your tiffin?? No, of course, then why have you forgotten the book??

Comment|| Strange Logic. A person can’t live without food but he can live without book. So, it’s obvious to bring the tiffin.

Electron: I didn’t knew that we have to bring our books today.

Comment|| DON’T EVER MAKE THE MISTAKE OF TELLING THIS!!

Teacher: How will you know if you talk all day?? I have told everyone several times to bring their books today.

Electron’s reaction be like

Comment|| Once upon a time, she told her students, in a voice audible to only the first few benches, that they should bring their books.

Electron DUMB.

Comment|| That’s the best option actually.

Teacher: Give your dairy….

Electron: No….mam…please..

/././././././././././././././././././././././././././././

Here’s how it ends.

Comment below if you liked this and share it with your friends who are a bit bhullakar(Hindi word meaning absent minded).

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Why NOT BOYS!!!

This may seem odd to some of my audience. Because gender discrimination to them has always been against girls and women. Boys or rather men have always been the villain, raping and molesting about.

But, today I am going to break some stereotypes. About what??

Today, I am going to point out how beneath all these Beti Bachao, Beti Badhao, there do lies a modern society where females have the upper hand and how they are MISUSING it.

Take some simple daily life examples.

Local bus.

Buses in India are the most crowded, no matter in which time of the year you travel. There, you have separate seats for Ladies and Gents.

Often I have seen this:

When a man sits on a ladies seat, he as to give it up as soon as a girl stands near it, no matter how tired the man is or how heavy belongings he is carrying.

The other side of the picture:

When a girl sits on a gents seat, it doesn’t really matter if a boy comes and stands there. The girl will ignore him and even the boy won’t say anything because, as I said at the beginning, we are in a society where females have the upper hand.

My Question:

If you want equality, why is it always the boys giving up their seats. They have also bought tickets and we too. Then whyyyyyy????

Boys don’t feel thirsty.

Now, I will tell a very recent experience which I had.

During Durga Puja, outside the mandap of a popular puja committee known as Kashi Bose Lane, the locals were distributing water bottles and prasad.

Now, the prasad was for everyone(thank God, it was).

But, as soon as I went to take a water bottle from them, I got rejected.

A man there was repeating these lines:

সুধু Ladies এগিয়ে আসুন…. সুধু Ladies….. সুধু Ladies…..

I wasn’t angry, rather I was shocked.

My Question:

Aren’t boys humans?? Don’t we feel thirsty?? If you want equality, why is it always the men who have to suppress their thirst??

So, guys after a lot of humorous articles, here’s once again a serious one, because I feel it’s #TimeToThink.

Maybe you will soon get a second part of this if this one gets a good response.

And remember, that I have left all my questions unanswered.

So, it’s your time. Go to the comment box and share your opinions with me and the best opinions might feature in the second part of this.

So, get on because it’s #TimeToThink.

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Kolkata Vibes#4||Clicking before Seeing📸📸📸

Today, we will talk about pandal-wide phenomenon that has caused trouble under the nose of police volunteers.

And it is……

Clicking Pictures

With almost everyone armed with a smartphone, there are a few exceptions who do not capture Maa and of course themselves in the frames.

But, the problem is if everybody raises their arms to click a picture, then instead of seeing the things in life size, you actually end up seeing a small screen.

I don’t understand the logic why people click the picture of everything inside the pandal.

Once I saw a man clicking the picture of the pandit, and that also of his bare back.

A big applause for such people.👏👏👏👏

Believe me, out of 100 pictures you click, less than 20 make it a year in your phone(unless you have some Google Pixel where you get infinite storage or like that).

And then there are people whom I call Instagramers and Facebookers. They will click, put a filter on it, give some over dramatic captions,tag their entire গুষ্টি and post it.

And then delete the pic.

I am not against clicking pictures but we should first see it through our own eyes first and then give our cameras the opportunity.

So, guys it’s all for today.

Read and comment me your opinions about it because it’s time to think.

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Kolkata Vibes Part 3|| এগিয়ে চলুন…. ভিড় করবেন না

Once I entered the pandal, I started looking out for what they had made.

There wasn’t much crowd inside the mandap, so I stood near the idol looking at it.

Suddenly someone, literally, screamed into my ears saying,

এগিয়ে চলুন…. ভিড় করবেন না

I turned and found the same old species(about whom we had talked about in my last article Kolkata Vibes#2 || Blowing up your ears).

Trust me, there were not more than 40 people inside the mandap and the mandap was large enough to accommodate 100 more.

Still, these as*holes have to do their duty which is to scream in people’s ears and tell them that what they have made is not for us. We somewhat have to manage to see it. আর একজন থাকুক বা একশো জন it’s mandatory for them to repeat the same old lines.

I simply don’t understand their problem.

Once in a year, we celebrate Durga Puja and then also these species have to poke their nose into bangali’s joy in the name of dutyyyy.

আর নিজের ওরা ওই দুটো কথার থেকে এগিয়ে যেতে পারে না আবার আমাদের এগোতে বলে.

So, it’s all for today.

Today is Dashami and a small wave of sadness has come over us for Maa is going to leave us today but it’s only for a year because আসছে বছর আবার হবে.

So, read and comment and don’t take the article seriously.

Just For FUN.

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Kolkata Vibes#2 || Blowing up your ears.

So, today is the sixth day of our ten day festival.

Yes, TODAY IS SASTHI!!

People have started pandal hoping from Ditiya!! Thanks to Titli, a cyclone that instilled fear of heavy rain in everybody and Chothurti, Panchami falling on weekends.

I too had started from Chothurti😉😉

Today, I am going to tell you the most annoying thing in the pandals.

It’s the…..

Whistling Volunteers…..

Till now, by the near guess of my memory, there were only 5 pandals, among those which I have visited, WITHOUT those annoying whistling volunteers.

Be it Mohammad Ali park or Ahiritola, everywhere you will find this irritating, hyper annoying creatures যারা হাতে একটা বাঁশি ধরে নিজেদের police👮 ভাবে.

How their brain works:

Whenever they will see someone trying to see the idol, which isn’t actually built for us to see(this is what they think), they will start honking in our ears until we get irritated and move on.

They think that if they don’t whistle and blow our ears, we will spend our entire lives there, with a fat aunty pushing us from behind😝😝😝

How it feels:

Believe me, if it hadn’t been a puja pandal, I would have snatched those whistles and smashed it into their butts. I would have taken the balls out(I mean the whistle’s) and force it down their throat until they die choking.

____________________________________

So, guys it’s all for today.

This part was, and maybe a few more following will be, Puja Special. I know puja special should have come a few days back only, but Electron was too busy.

So, tell in the comment if you liked it or not and share this to make everybody aware of these “creatures”.

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In the crowd….

Hello, guys this article is once again a REMINDER THAT MAA ESE GECHEN.

Today is the fifth day of our ten day festival. Yesss, TODAY IS PANCHAMI!!

Today we are going to talk about the soul of the crowd during Durga Puja. And the soul of a crowd are always its people.

So, today we are going to look at the Types of People in the Crowd of Maa.

So, let’s start…..

The Hoppers

These type will never get tired. They hop from pandal to pandal and their only aim is: Minimum time, maximum thakur.

At the end of the day, they need to tell everyone: এই আজ না thirty টা দেখলাম!!

গোলির ঠাকুর থেকে Kumortuli, বাড়ির পূজো থেকে World’s Biggest Durga.

Everything means EVERYTHING!

The Theme Chasers!

These type are a bit choosy. পাড়ার ছোটো খাটো ঠাকুর doesn’t suit them.

Their eyes are in search of something big, something interesting, something popular.

They are run after good themes only. Yes, GOOD themes only!

The Tired ones!!

This is what they say:

আজ না Kashi Bose Lane দেখে Santosh Mitra Square দেখবো তারপর………………. Desopriya……. তারপর DumDum……

This what they do:

After 10 minutes of walking:

আর পারছি না! এবার বাড়ি চল! অনেক ঠাকুর দেখে নিয়েছি!!

So, guys it’s all for today. Expect more and more articles this week. Because, am in mood!!

Don’t forget to comment and tell me about this article.

For the next five days, whoever will comment on my posts, I will mention them in my articles. Conditions apply.

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How to make a HIT HOT Comedy Show??

Helllllo, guys, being a bengali from heart, I can’t resist myself, but remind you that MAA IS JUST AT THE DOORSTEP!!

But, today’s article isn’t related to Durga puja because three of my last articles were all related to that. So, it’s time for something different….

Today, we will talk about what it takes to make a hit and hot comedy show(sarcasm…..sarcasm……sarcasm……)

So, let’s start,

UnFunny People

Now, this is probably the most important step.

Gather some fat people and make fun of their size.

Gather some thin people and again do their body shaming.

Gather some boys who are girls and some girls who are boys and make fun of them.

ছেলেদের শাড়ি পরিয়ে তাদের খিল্লি করো😂😂

মেয়েদের intentional ন্যাকামি করিয়ে তাদেরও খিল্লি করো 😂😂

Making people laugh (only in background)

This feature is there in almost every comedy show around the globe.

The background score always includes some imaginary people who laugh at everything.

……………Error……………

They are made to laugh at everything.

SEX IS FUN!!

Now, in this 21st century, humans are too evolved to crack any vegetarian jokes.

And like this we come down to our last ingredient of a hot comedy show: SEX.

People won’t laugh at a sexist joke, but just chuckle. But, this is enough to motivate a comedy show. Because to them: SEX IS FUN!!

So, guys, once again it’s time to say goodbye. My previous article came 5 days back, so you can understand that I had been quiet busy these days.

But, for the coming 5 days, I promise to deliver you more spicy and fun filled articles which will make you laugh, and not chuckle.

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Modern Mahalaya #Hard_to_Digest_Truth

Times have changed, so have traditions, at least for my para(locality).

Today is Mahalaya, and from the morning 5, they are playing the Mahalaya loudly on the speakers and killing my sleep. Yet, no complains. No complains because it’s a part of our traditions and culture and announces the arrival of our Maa for whom we had been longing for a year.

But what they did next wasn’t even close to our traditions!!

Wanna know what they did??

Just after 7, I guess, just after the Mahalaya morning was over, I heard a familiar music and then I caught these words…..

🎵Laila main laila aisi hoon laila🎵
🎵Har koi chahe mujhse milna akela🎵
🎵Jisko bhi dekhu duniya bhula doon🎵
🎵Majnu bana du aisi main laila🎵

Believe me, after hearing that, I almost fainted in sleep. And I am sure, if Maa Durga had been in my place, she too would have gone back to her husband.

Just imagine!! মহালয়ার পর item song. NO, don’t imagine. Because it’s a reality. A hard to digest reality.

Here ends this article. This article was short because it was short and I didn’t have anything more to tell. Simply, couldn’t take it😐😐😐

Comment below what you think about these changing times, these changing traditions.

Share it to let others know of it .

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চাঁদাগিরি

Remember my article School Life Part 8: Class Vibes// When the Teacher catches you Talking??

This article is going to be like that yet a lot different.

Today we are going to see what happens when a fund collector of parar pujo meets a common man.

So, let’s start…….

Fund man: Dada, we have come to take the chnada from Netaji Sangha.

Common Man(takes out a 200 ruppee note): Hmm

Fund man(without yet noticing the note): By whose name….

Common Man: Kirmi Sen.

Comment||Kirmi……

Fund Man(writing the name in the bill): Amount…..

Common Man:200….

Fund Man: Dada, 200!! এটাতে তো pandal এর একটা বাঁশ ও ঠিক করে হবে না..

Comment|| Common Man’s inner feeling:ওই জন্যে তো দিচ্ছি যাতে Majherhat এর মতো তোদের ঘারে pandalটা ভেঙে পরে যায়ে.

Common Man: কি করব বলুন!! আজকাল যা বাজার যাচ্ছে, তারপর আবার ওই GST!!

Fund Man: বাজার খারাপ বলেই তো চাইছি! At least 3000 লাগবে….

Comment|| 3000😨😨😨😨

Common Man: কি করেন এতো টাকা নিয়ে? কোনোদিন তো একটা ভাঙা বাতাসার টুকরোও পাইনা!!

Comment|| Expectation level: Infinite

Fund man: কি বললেন!! এই শোন (to his companions) এইবারে অঞ্জলি দেবার সময় যা সব বাতাসা ছোড়া হবে সেই সব গুলো মাটি থেকে কুড়িয়ে নিয়ে মালটার বাড়ির সামনে ঢেলে দিয়ে যাবি😈😈

Common Man(taking out more 100 ruppess): এই নিন. এবার যান. সব টাকা তো শুধু মদ, গাঁজা, cigarette, বিড়ি এসবেই চলে যায়ে.

Fund Man (angrily): দিন, দিন, এই দিন!! এতো বরো বাড়ি করেছেন, 1000 টাকা চাঁদা দিতে পারেন না😠😠

Comment|| I guess he was telling 3000 a few seconds earlier 😕😕😕

Common Man: শালা, এমন করছে যেন আমা়য় উদ্ধার করে দিচ্ছে!

Fund man: উদ্ধারি তো করলাম!!! নাহলে মারধর করে টাকা বার করতাম!! 👹👹👹

Fund Man takes the money with dissatisfaction and gives the bill.

And here ends, yet once again, a quarrel that had been a part of our puja culture.

So, it’s all for today. Expect a few more spicy articles this week because Maa Aschen….

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Story of Every Bengali Shopper

Meet the most stylish goddess.

Maa Durga.

Wanna know why??

Every year she brings new clothing, vogue, trends, styles, brands, retro, footwear, couture, outfits, dresses, perfume, makeup,lifestyle, glamour, casuals, formals, advertisements, collection, hairstyles, nightwear, swimwear, loungewear……(exhausted, can’t tell any more)

So, let’s know the story of every Bengali Shoppers….

Now there are some people who start their shopping three months earlier and then there are people who shop a week ago.

But, they both shop because পূজো মানেই shopping, shopping মানেই পূজো 👕👖👔👗👙👘👠👡👢👞👟👒🎩🎓👑🎒👑👜

It’s relatives first😁

For those who shop late, their relatives are the first to give them their পূজোর জামা and it feels great to boast of them telling:

এটা আমার মাসি দিয়েছে আর এই jeans টা আমার কাকা দিয়েছে আর এই underwear টাও… 😜😜😜

Deciding the Destination

With so many brands and shopping outlets out there, it has become a difficult choice where to go and often you end up going to the same shop you went last year….

Not to buy what you bought last year…

Last year navy blue color এর jeans কিনেছিলাম, এই বছর একটু light কিছু নেবো.

Last পূজোয়ে অনেক গুলো western হয়ে গেছে, এই বছর শুধু traditional নেবো.

Deciding the Dress😎😎

Now, this is often the hard part, but not for all.

There are people who suffer from indecision and there are people for whom সব কিছু চলবে.

There are people whose demands remain unfulfilled even after buying the entire shop. And then there are people who are demandless.

There are people for whom style পছন্দ হলে size এ হয়ে না আর size এ হলে style পছন্দ হয়ে না

There are people who run after trends and brands and there are people for whom যেখান থেকে হক যেটা হক কিনলেই হলো.

It’s relatives, again😎😎

After you have completed your shopping there comes মাসির saree, মেসোর shirt, দিদির kurti, কাকার punjabi……

Accessories….

Now, these things are optional. New shoes(which you will wear only for those 6 days and then they will rot for rest of the year) new perfume(only because SRK used it for 5 seconds on the TV).

So, guys it’s all for today. Only a few days are left for Durga Puja so everybody is busy with their preparations.

Expect a few more PUJA SPECIAL ARTICLES which will be coming very soon. And do comment below if you liked this one.

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School Life Part 8: Class Vibes// When the Teacher catches you Talking

Disclaimer: The comments that have been said should not be taken seriously. It’s strictly for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES!!

Teacher’s teaching.

Electron turns back and starts gossiping with friends.

Teacher(shouts): Hey you, stand up!!

Electron turns front and buries his head into the book.

Comment: “Being Innocent” instinct.

Teacher(shouts louder): Didn’t you hear?? I said you to stand up!!

Electron(still sitting): But, mam, I didn’t do anything.

Teacher: Then it must have been my eye’s fault. And you don’t even have the minimum manners to stand up when the teacher’s talking to you.

Comment: Manners এর আবার minimum maximum হয়ে নাকি??

Electron finally stands up.

Teacher: So, what’s there so important that you need to talk when I am present in your class.

Electron: No…no…mam….nothing

Teacher: No, no share it with us. Let me also know what’s there so important.

Comment: এটা Facebook নাকি যে ভালো লাগলেই share করে দেব?

Electron: No, mam, I was talking about the chapter only.

Comment:Electron was actually talking about the match last night.

Mam: Tell….how do we obtain sulphurous acid from sulphur dioxide??

Electron(thinking): Hmm…hmm..hmm…by removing the “ous” from sulphurous…..

Teacher(interrupts): What rubbish!!

Electron(pretends to think hard): No, no mam, I can tell wait….

Teacher: Ei, look at me. If you think you do not need the class please go outside. The door is open. Go outside.

Electron: Actually miss….

Teacher: You are not only disturbing me but also others who are trying to listen. Come in the first bench and sit.

Comment: Actually, everyone’s just trying to listen. Yes, JUST TRYING TO!!

Electron: No, no mam. I will not talk again.

Teacher: Be quick and come to the first bench or else I will not teach. Now, you decide.

Electron with an annoyed expression finally moves to the first bench.

Teacher(to the class): So, what was I telling? Yes, sulphur when…

So, guys if you liked this new thing I have tried then please let me know in the comments and don’t forget to share and share this with your friends.

If the number of views exceed 20, then I will surely make another like this. Promise.

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School Life Part 7: Morning Assembly

No day in school is complete without the morning assembly where you poke your friend from behind, keep commenting on the principal’s speech and make fun of any mistake made in the pledge.

So, read on and relish those moments……

Summer Days!! 😵😵😵

Sweat like pigs and stand like morons. The hot summer days when the temperature goes higher and higher and the principal’s speech becomes longer and longer….

And if you are lucky, there would be no fan over your head or better if assembly is in the school playground.

Song🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊

There’s always a crap like school song and although your ears have grown tired of hearing the same song since years, still you need to tolerate it with a moron singing it on the mic.

Principal’s Speech!!

This is worst part of the tale.

কোনো কাজ নেই, সকাল সকাল student দেরকে আবল তাবল শোনায়ে আর ওনার mood ভালো থাকলে এদিক ওদিকের গল্প নিয়ে এসে শোনাবে আর আপনার যতো পা ব্যাথা করবে, যতো গরম লাগবে, যতো মাথা চুলকাবে, the longerrrrr and longerrrr he will get…..

So, it’s again all for today.

I have a good news to share with you guys. Electron has reached double digit(10) WordPress followers.

So keep following and supporting Electron in this way. Keep sharing and commenting because there’s more to come.

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